Barking Dogs and Other DIsasters
12/07/10 16:58
In which Fernando and
Angel visit Marin .....
Originally Published
August 27, 1998
We continue our series on the hazards of outdoor living with a discussion of that most fearsome creature of urban wildlife, the skunk.
I recently had an encounter of the odiferous kind when my sons returned from summering in Los Angeles accompanied by their beloved mutts, Fernando and Angel. These congenial creatures had heretofore lived in a part of Los Angeles where the number of extremely large dogs was exceeded only by the number of extremely large weapons (our household was an exception, of course) The only wildlife Fernando and Angel had previously encountered consisted of rodents, cats, and rowdy teenagers. Where they came from, a big dog that did not posture meanly at every moving object would probably be eaten by an even bigger dog. Or worse.
Fast forward to scenic Marin County, where the perfect dog is defined as one that is seen but not heard. It is so quiet and lovely here that Fernando and Angel went into severe culture shock. Apparently longing for the din created by thousands of barking dogs, rumbling low riders and occasional gunfire, the dogs decided to fill this auditory void by themselves. The results were most unfortunate. One night a funny looking black animal with a white stripe invaded their turf. The dogs did the urban thing and barked and snarled and generally set out to scare the creature out of its wits. Big mistake. The dogs reeked from a mile away.
Once again, we sought advice at 2 in the morning on how to cope with this disaster from that Oracle of the late 20th Century, the Internet. As with many difficult urban problems, there are no easy answers. All of you who think that tomato juice is the answer to skunk spray, please be advised that there is a heated worldwide debate among chemistry professors as to whether this is just another urban myth. I was actually relieved to hear this, as someone had suggested soaking the dogs in a bathtub full of ketchup. The prospect of pouring gigantic bottles of ketchup on the dogs while they attempted to escape down the hall made the skunk smell seem not so bad.
Others suggested herbal elixirs, but the real leading contender was a homemade concoction of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and vinegar. This struck me as somewhat dubious, since baking soda and vinegar are the two main ingredients in "bomb bags" which the kids buy at the Mall and which explode when you throw them on the sidewalk. Also, I tried this mix in the washing machine and it sort of blew up. I ask you, who wants an exploding dog? The hydrogen peroxide will also bleach your dog's fir. This would of course be perfectly acceptable in Southern California, but they are now Marin dogs, and must learn to accept themselves as they are.
Ultimately, we copped out and used the "Skunk Away" goo from the pet store. The dogs hated it so much they immediately rolled in the skunkified dirt and made themselves stink all over again. My advice on how to deal with skunks: avoid the problem in the first place. If you encounter a skunk, whatever you do, don't bark.
© Adrienne Larkin 2010
We continue our series on the hazards of outdoor living with a discussion of that most fearsome creature of urban wildlife, the skunk.
I recently had an encounter of the odiferous kind when my sons returned from summering in Los Angeles accompanied by their beloved mutts, Fernando and Angel. These congenial creatures had heretofore lived in a part of Los Angeles where the number of extremely large dogs was exceeded only by the number of extremely large weapons (our household was an exception, of course) The only wildlife Fernando and Angel had previously encountered consisted of rodents, cats, and rowdy teenagers. Where they came from, a big dog that did not posture meanly at every moving object would probably be eaten by an even bigger dog. Or worse.
Fast forward to scenic Marin County, where the perfect dog is defined as one that is seen but not heard. It is so quiet and lovely here that Fernando and Angel went into severe culture shock. Apparently longing for the din created by thousands of barking dogs, rumbling low riders and occasional gunfire, the dogs decided to fill this auditory void by themselves. The results were most unfortunate. One night a funny looking black animal with a white stripe invaded their turf. The dogs did the urban thing and barked and snarled and generally set out to scare the creature out of its wits. Big mistake. The dogs reeked from a mile away.
Once again, we sought advice at 2 in the morning on how to cope with this disaster from that Oracle of the late 20th Century, the Internet. As with many difficult urban problems, there are no easy answers. All of you who think that tomato juice is the answer to skunk spray, please be advised that there is a heated worldwide debate among chemistry professors as to whether this is just another urban myth. I was actually relieved to hear this, as someone had suggested soaking the dogs in a bathtub full of ketchup. The prospect of pouring gigantic bottles of ketchup on the dogs while they attempted to escape down the hall made the skunk smell seem not so bad.
Others suggested herbal elixirs, but the real leading contender was a homemade concoction of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and vinegar. This struck me as somewhat dubious, since baking soda and vinegar are the two main ingredients in "bomb bags" which the kids buy at the Mall and which explode when you throw them on the sidewalk. Also, I tried this mix in the washing machine and it sort of blew up. I ask you, who wants an exploding dog? The hydrogen peroxide will also bleach your dog's fir. This would of course be perfectly acceptable in Southern California, but they are now Marin dogs, and must learn to accept themselves as they are.
Ultimately, we copped out and used the "Skunk Away" goo from the pet store. The dogs hated it so much they immediately rolled in the skunkified dirt and made themselves stink all over again. My advice on how to deal with skunks: avoid the problem in the first place. If you encounter a skunk, whatever you do, don't bark.
© Adrienne Larkin 2010
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